207: Gretchen Rubin – Are You An Upholder, Questioner, Obliger Or A Rebel?

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature.

She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project.

On Gretchen’s top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How Gretchen came up with the concept of her new book, The Four Tendencies
• Inner and outer expectations
• Upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels
• Always beware of an upholder offering advice on how to do something
• Does your tendency ever change?
• Can a major life event impact your tendency?
• Speak the language of the person you’re speaking to
• Upholders need to be on alert for “tightening”
• Questioners can sometimes drain and overwhelm others with their constant questioning
• A deep irony within the questioner tendency
• Obligers need outer accountability
• Obliger rebellion
• How to handle a rebel
• 2 upholders in a romantic relationship (Marni & Jesse)
• Not being confined by our tendencies
• We’re all different and different things work for different people

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Related links:

Gretchen Rubin – The Four Tendencies (book)
The Four Tendencies Quiz
Gretchen Rubin’s website
Follow Gretchin Rubin on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter
Gretchen Rubin – Better Than Before (book)
Gretchen Rubin – The Happiness Project (book)
Happier with Gretchen Rubin (podcast)
Listen to Gretchen Rubin previously on TUHP (episode #37)

Related episodes:

321: Neil Pasricha – You Are Awesome, Intentional Living, Becoming Anti-Fragile
279: Sally Hogshead – How To Fascinate • Unlearn Boring • Finding Balance In The Workplace
265: Neil Pasricha – How To Be Happy • Untouchable Days • Find Your Authentic Self
263: Jonathan Fields – Uncovering The Work That Sparks You
123: Jonathan Fields – How To Live A Good Life • Breakthroughs Require Uncertainty • Money And Happiness Are Byproducts, Not The Goal

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